Buttons Pushed Theory
This has been revelatory in how I see the world.
I used to see things and think, "that makes no sense..." I would try to figure out why the person performed out of character.
I kept trying to understand these 'irrational' situations and eventually started noticing myself do crazy things sometimes.
I remember a time I crossed a street after only looking one way. The other 1,000 times I crossed a street, I would look back-and-forth-and-back-and-forth. What just happened?
At the time of writing this, the one-way-look-while-crossing mistake has happened about 3 times in my life, and each time can be traced to one of these buttons.
There are certain meters we all need filled. Everyone has the same meters; the only difference is the size of the meters.
You push a button to fill the meter. Some people need certain buttons pushed more than others. I, for example, find that I have a lower social button than most. I'm perfectly fine not telling people about my day every day, or not sharing travel details when I return from vacation. For me, my social bar smaller, and more likely to be near max.
Below are definitions of each button/meter, as well as signs I notice the meter is low from my own experience.
I find that I have to talk to people. I can’t not.
Signs this meter is low: I find myself listening in on conversations around me, I talk much longer or more excitedly in the conversations I end up in. I've found that if I spend ~30 hours without talking to anyone I start to laugh out loud (reading, thinking about something funny, reading a meme or social media post) and start to talk out loud.
Importance
I find the human brain likes to be important and feel needed.
If I don’t feel important, I start saying things like “I have an executive meeting” and other michigas (e.g., using fancy words...) to push the button for myself. Walking around with a scowl is a symptom of this. Taking a call in a public place, or while I charge across the street is this. All variations of 'I am in an elite group' is this. Through this lens I have explained 90% of my own irrational behavior.
The "importance button" was a big subconscious driver until I noticed this meter existed and paid attention to not overstuffing my bar. When the bar is maxed, it's maxed. I stopped compulsively pushing the importance button and ended up much happier.
Additionally, I realized how to push this button myself (or even better, systematize the pushing of this button) and never be low/in need.
Sex
Self-explanatory. Technically, this can be called the "biological urge" and cover food and drink as well.
I find myself cranky, with no describable reason why. "Intuitive" decisions are favored vs. "logical". I find myself optimizing for exposure/publicity and taking more risks.
Walking around with an understanding of these buttons, and then having filled each button to the max makes a person happy, giving, and wonderful to be around.
Treat the buttons like food, water, and oxygen. Very clearly:
1. Build systems to have food available regularly with minimal effort needed
2. Recognize when you are hungry as soon as possible to avoid negative effects
3. Fast to better understand your "need" for food
4. Know what foods effectively fill you up. Focus on nourishing staples, don't spend time on empty calories
5. Are any second order factors blocking your nutrition? Some people digest worse if they eat quickly. Determine if your body has any enablers which aid your digestion/absorption of nutrients, such as improving gut microbiome or eating at a certain time
6. Understand limits. Stop eating when you are full, unless you will be without food in the coming weeks
7. Calibrate how soon you get hungry again. Recognize which activities, such as running long distances, make your "hunger bar" drain more quickly than usual
8. Consider diminishing returns. You might feel lighter and more motivated at 75% satiety than 100%
9. Remember there are multiple bars. Do not eat when you are thirsty
Substitute 'food' with 'social,' 'importance,' 'sex'.
This idea is from Dale Carnegie.